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.Great bores of today are pointing angrily at the Mazda MX-5, saying that it should be an MG and that if Rover weren’t so completely hopeless it would have been.The fact is, Mazda spent six years developing the MX-5.They started with a piece of paper so fresh it was still a tree and they invested billions of yen and millions of man hours to make sure it was right in every detail.Only the engine has been ‘lifted’ from current production lines.Rover could not have started work on such a car six years ago.Back then, under government ownership, they couldn’t take the top off a biro without having 23 eight-hour meetings to discuss the implications.They had sod all money and as a result, they were to the world of motor manufacturing what Paddy Ashdown is to politics – completely and spectacularly useless.If they had started work on a two-seater soft top then, it would have emerged at the right time but it would have had an Ambassador engine and an Allegro-style quartic steering wheel.There is no doubt that Rover are much leaner these days, but it’s too late to start thinking about putting one over Mazda.Besides, lean though they may be, I’m still not absolutely certain that they’d get an affordable sports car right.The problem is, they are too small to invest what Mazda invested and too big to make a go of it on a TVR or Lotus scale.In order for economics of scale to work, they would need to make thousands of so-called MGs a week, which means they’d have to be cheap.And if they were going to be cheap, then they would have to be fashioned from whatever is lying around in the parts bin.That means front-wheel drive, whether they base it on the CRX or the Rover 200.And although I couldn’t give a stuff whether a car is front-, rear- or four-wheel drive, I do believe that people who want a sports car prefer the busy end to be behind them.Then there’s the engine problem.Yes, the K series is a good effort but it’s hardly a ripsnorter is it? A turbo version perhaps? No no no.Turbo engines are crap.And don’t get excited about the possibility of a 3.9i V8 – just think of the torque steer.So it has to be the CRX engine.But if they do this, the MG purists will be running around, waving their arms and pulling their beards, whinging about how Rover have sold out.If they use the CRX engine and the CRX floorpan, George Simpson will probably end up like Georges Besse.Beardies have the most awful temper, I’ve always found.The Rover parts bin is filled to overflowing with some lovely items, but trying to make them into a sports car is like trying to make an origami ice-breaker out of six-inch nails.And if they do the decent thing and design the car from scratch, it will end up being more expensive than the Koenig Testarossa drop head.The worst thing is that even if they get the green light now and use the best bits they can find, it won’t reach the Rover showrooms until midway through 1993 at the earliest.No one can say for sure what motordom will be like then, but here are a few fairly safe bets.The roads will be chocabloc.Kinnock will be taxing cars like they’re going out of fashion.Which they will be.Anything even remotely sporty will be prone to vandalism by marauding gangs of environmentally aware Islingtonites.All in all, it will be a lot more difficult to enjoy a soft-top sports car than it is now.For heaven’s sake, even the Tories are doing their level best to make sure we don’t spend our disposable income.Labour will ban anything even remotely hedonistic.Soft tops are a fashion accessory and fashions change.Now, if Rover could squeeze a car in very fast before the Welshman gets into power and before Sizewell B blows up, maybe they’ll make some money out of it for a couple of years.How about lopping the roof off a CRX, fitting an MGish interior and applying some new badges? It would be a pretty horrid effort, I’m sure, but the badge, the engine and the looks would ensure that Mazda had a run for their money in the UK at least.Perhaps in America too.I’m fearful, though, that if they do go for this type of thing, it will be the new Metro that has the can opener taken to it and not the CRX.I’m also fearful that a not very good convertible would be a lot less desirable than a faster, cheaper and infinitely more practical hot hatch.The MG of old wasn’t a very nice car then, and because of all sorts of things that are way beyond Rover’s control, a modern version probably wouldn’t be a nice car now.And even if it was nice, it wouldn’t be appropriate.I have a message for George Simpson – don’t build a new MG now because you’ve missed the boat, but the next time an opportunity looks like presenting itself, for heaven’s sake, walk around the building, shouting a lot
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