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.I wondered what she could be dreaming about.She had experienced so little in her life, what inspired her dreams? I was sure there were only good things waiting for her in that secret world and I wished it would always stay that way.I grew tired myself and soon closed my eyes to rest for a few minutes.And soon I, too, dreamed.But in my dream there were shadow figures and angry voices, there were sudden and sharp movements in the darkness.I didn�t know where I was or where I was going.And then I was grabbed by unseen hands and pulled up out of it, back to the light.�Harry, what are you doing?� I opened my eyes and Eleanor was pulling the collar of my jacket.�Hey.Eleanor.what is it?� For some reason I tried to smile at her but I was still too disoriented to know why.�What are you doing? Look at this all over the floor.� I was beginning to register that she was angry.I pulled myself forward and looked over the edge of the bed.The Poet file had slid off the bed and spilled on the floor.The crime scene photos were spread everywhere.Prominently displayed were three photos of a Denver Police detective who had been shot by Backus in a car.The back of bis head was obliterated, blood and brain matter all over the seat.There were other photos of bodies floating in canals, photos of another detective whose head was taken off with a shotgun.�Oh, shit!� �You can�t do this!� Eleanor said loudly.�What if she woke up and saw this? She�d have nightmares the rest of her life.� �She�s going to wake up if you don�t keep your voice down, Eleanor.I�m sorry, okay? I didn�t mean to fall asleep.� I slid off the bed and knelt on the floor, quickly gathering the file together.As I did so I checked my watch and saw it was almost five a.m.I had slept for hours.No wonder I was so groggy.Seeing the time also told me that Eleanor was home late.She usually didn�t play this long.It probably meant she�d had a bad night and had tried to chase her losses, a bad gambling strategy.I quickly gathered the photos and reports and slid them back into the file, then I stood up.�Sorry,� I said again.�Goddamnit, it�s not what I need to come home and find.� I didn�t say anything.I knew it was a no-win situation for me.I turned and looked back at the bed.Maddie was still sleeping, with her brown ringlets across her face again.If she could sleep through anything, then I hoped she could sleep right through the roaring silence of her parents� anger toward each other.Eleanor walked quickly out of the room and in a few moments I followed her.I found her in the kitchen leaning against a counter with her arms folded tightly in front of her.�Bad night?� �Don�t blame my reaction to this on what kind of night I had.� I raised my hands in surrender.�I�m not.I blame it on me.I messed up.I just wanted to sit with her for a little while and I fell asleep.� �Maybe you shouldn�t do that anymore.� �What, come visit her at night?� �I don�t know.� She moved to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of spring water.She poured a glass and then held the bottle up for me.I told her I didn�t want any.�What is that file anyway?� she asked.�Are you working a case here?� �Yes.A murder.It started in L.A.and came over this way.I have to go up into the desert today.� �What a nice convenience for you.Along the way you get to drop in here and scare your daughter.� �Come on, Eleanor, it was stupid and I�m an idiot but at least she didn�t see anything.� �She could have.Maybe she did.Maybe she woke up and saw those dreadful pictures and then went back to sleep.She�s probably having a horrible nightmare.� �Look, she hasn�t moved all night.I can tell.She�s been down for the count.It won�t happen again, so can we just leave it at that?� �Sure.Fine.� �Look, Eleanor, why don�t you tell me about your night?� �No, I don�t want to talk about it.I just want to go to bed.� �I�ll tell you something then.� �What?� I hadn�t planned on bringing this up but it all sort of snowballed and I knew I needed to tell her.�I�m thinking about going back to my job.� �What do you mean, the case?� �No, the cops.The LAPD has a program.Old guys like me can come back in.They�re looking for experience.If I do it now I won�t even have to go back to the academy.� She took a long drink of water and didn�t respond.�What do you think about that, Eleanor?� She shrugged like she didn�t care
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