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.He stared down into the blue eyes of his lover.It was getting late, pushing midnight.In theory, they both had to be at work tomorrow, though maybe not first thing in the morning.And it wasn’t like he was going to be doing any flying for the next few days anyway.“How much do you trust me?” Cam asked softly.“What kind of a question is that?”“Just a question.How much do you trust me?”“I trust you with my heart,” Mason replied.That was not the answer Cam had been expecting.“You took a risk this morning for me, when you kissed me in the FBI offices.” Mason’s fingers ghosted lightly across Cam's mouth.“I know how hard it is for you.”“I think it was worth it.I was.I was going to suggest something to take your mind off what went on up there.The bad stuff, not the Branch Director’s sexual intentions.”Mason’s mouth quirked a little in a half smile.“What did you have in mind? Something involving your body and mine?” He scooted up toward the top of the bed, so his legs were no longer hanging off the end.“Yeah, sort of, it’s a little more complicated than that.I, um, would you let me tie you up?”“You’re kidding.”“No, actually I wasn’t.Not anything that causes pain.I’m not into that, and as far as I know, neither are you.I just.I have a tie in my luggage.I thought maybe you would let me bind your wrists to the headboard.I had a girlfriend a while back who thought getting restrained was really hot.” Cam could feel his face heating in embarrassment, but he kept going.“I know you like to be in control, but when you lose it, you tend to lose it in big time dangerous ways.I thought we could play a little, where you have basically no control.But something relatively safe.” The look Mason gave him was very uncertain.“No safe words.If you tell me to untie you, I will.”“Cam, I.” Mason trailed off, looking ashamed.“It’s okay.If it’s not your thing, that’s fine.”“You think I don’t trust you.”“No.I think you don’t trust yourself, to lose it just a little.It’s okay.Really.” Cam lowered himself down to lie on top of his lover.He kissed Mason softly.“I do still want to make love to you, any way I can get it.”Mason’s arms wrapped around his body, pulling him down tight.“Need you,” was the husky murmur from his partner.Cam could feel the want, the tension bordering on the edge of tears and the iron fisted control choking them down.Cam began to kiss his way down the side of his lover’s neck.He pushed back upright, hands tugging on Mason’s shirt, pulling it loose at the waist, unbuttoning it.Cam’s fingers grazed across dark silky curls of chest hair, tracing the muscles of his partner’s chest.Mason’s body was fairly well defined, tall, relatively thin, a runner’s physique, which was appropriate, considering Cam knew Mason ran on the beach three to four times a week.His ribs seemed to show a little more sharply than usual.It was probably a result of the sheer quantity of energy he had been putting out lately.Cam leaned down and drew his tongue across the dark rose of a nipple.Mason drew a slow uneven breath in.It wasn't quite the response Cam was expecting.He left a trail of kisses and soft nips down the center of his lover’s chest.Although Mason’s hands were stroking softly down Cam’s back, the rest of his body gave little response.As Cam skimmed his hand down across Mason’s crotch, there was no sign of arousal.All Cam could feel was the stress radiating from his partner.The man was just wound so excruciatingly tight, but only some of it was in his body, the rest was in the churning of his mind.Cam slid off his lover’s thighs and stretched out on the bed beside him, leaving an arm draped across Mason's body.“Talk to me,” he prompted.Mason was usually more easily verbal about emotions than he was.“I.My life has gone from calm and sane and borderline boring, to.I’ve gotten shot.And I killed somebody.And people are getting blown up.And my talent has been unleashed.And so has my control.And, and, and.” The words stopped.Cam could almost see the dam disintegrating.Mason rolled away, burying his face against the edge of the pillow.Mason's hands were clenched under his arms as hard, barely suppressed sobs were shaking his body.Cam carefully grabbed his lover’s shoulder and tried to turn him back toward him.Mason resisted, so Cam tried a different tactic.He spooned up against his partner’s back, sliding one arm under Mason's neck to snake down across his chest and wrapped the other arm around his waist.Cam held Mason tightly in silence and let the storm rage.After a number of minutes the sobs dwindled to snuffling gulps.Only then did Mason let Cam turn him to face into Cam's shoulder.Cam also grabbed a wad of tissues out of the box on the nightstand and handed them to his lover.Mason blew his nose.“Shit,” Mason muttered.“Trust the gay guy to end up crying when the going gets tough.”“Hey, it’s okay.It beats the alternative.Half the guys I work with think drinking themselves stupid and getting in a fist fight is the best way to deal with major stress.Either that or screw the nearest willing female.” Cam brushed his thumb across Mason’s tear stained cheek.He would do anything he could to comfort his lover.“God, wasn’t that where this was supposed to be heading? Before I decided to have a meltdown?” whispered Mason.He looked acutely embarrassed.“You better be talking about the screwing part and not the fist fight,” Cam teased gently.“And there’s nothing female about you.” He scraped a fingernail across the dark beard stubble along Mason’s chin.This was one of the times when it just astounded him that his lover was a guy somewhat in need of a shave with blue eyes, blood shot and red rimmed.Mason's breathing was still broken by occasional hiccupping gulps.Cam kissed Mason tenderly.“Love you,” he whispered.Mason’s hand clenched softly in the fabric of Cam’s shirt, his eyes squeezed shut.“Mason, look at me.” Cam waited for his lover to open his eyes and a long moment passed before Mason did so.“You don’t have to pretend for me.If you’re falling apart, I want to be the one to put you back together.Never be afraid to cry on my shoulder.Okay?”Mason gave him a minute nod and Cam kissed him again.This one was not brief.***Mason could feel Cam’s hand cradling the back of his head, the other hand between his shoulder blades, holding him.Mason opened his mouth to the gentle assault on his lips.His lover’s teeth nipped carefully at his lower lip and Cam’s tongue swiped slowly along his teeth before exploring the depths of his mouth.Oh God, how Mason loved this man: strength and confidence; fierce passion and gentle affection.His breath hitched.Oh please, don’t let me start crying again, he cursed himself.He must have tightened up, because Cam’s hand began rubbing circles down his back.“Relax,” murmured Cam.Mason gave in to the sheer comfort of feeling his lover’s hand on his back.Strong fingers traced down his spine to his waist, then skimmed down over his belt and drew a random pattern at the base of his spine.That spot always made him feel like a cat, arching into the sensation.Cam’s mouth moved to his throat, sucking and licking at the skin there.He nuzzled into his lover’s temple, the short military haircut prickling at his nose and mouth.Hands kneaded into the muscles of his buttocks, pulling his hips in tight to Cam’s.He could feel the hard bulge of his lover's arousal pushing against the inner edge of his hipbone.The care of Cam holding him close, snuggling, kissing, loving him, was slowly stoking his own desire.Mason eased back slightly so he could loosen his lover’s belt.He unzipped the fly and slid his hands down inside Cam’s slacks and underwear so he could feel skin
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