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.My real vice, which Morelli hadn't mentioned, was my pleasure in being alone.It's not young girls who are better off in convents, but ourselves.I thought of that grandmother of Mariella's who at eighty liked to see people and listen from her bed to other people's noise.I thought of Carlotta, who had led her own life.All in all, living is really putting up with someone else and going to bed with him, whether you feel like it or not.Having money means you can isolate yourself.But then why do leisured people with money always look for company and noise?When I was a girl, I envied people like Momina, Mariella, and the others.I envied them and didn't know what they were.I imagined them free, admired, mistresses of the world.Thinking it over now, I wouldn't exchange places with any of them.Their lives seemed foolish to me, all the more so because they didn't realize it themselves.But could they act otherwise? Would I have acted otherwise in their place? Rosetta Mola was naive, but she had taken things seriously.At bottom it was true she had no motive for wanting to kill herself, certainly not because of that stupid story of her first love for Momina, or some other mess.She wanted to be alone, to isolate herself from the uproar; and in her world you can't be alone or do anything alone unless you take yourself out of it completely.Now Momina and the others had already taken her up again: we all went together to pick her up at Montalto.Just remembering that day depressed me.20Rosetta returned, days later.This time too she stopped hesitatingly at the door.Becuccio saw her and said: "She's not looking for me."That morning we were taking photographs to send to Rome and Febo turned the lights in the niches on and off, rearranging the position of a statuette that served as a model.He joked with Rosetta and told her that at Ivrea he had been seduced and deserted by two bad women.Then he wanted to photograph the two of us in front of the windows to let them know in Rome what Turin women are like."We need Mariella," I said.We ended by talking about the play and Rosetta said that now Nene was preparing the set."That's all she knows how to do," Febo said.I asked Rosetta if she painted any more."It was just for fun," she said."You can't play all the time.""These Turin girls," Febo said, "know how to paint, act, play instruments, dance, knit.Some of them never leave off."Rosetta looked at me sadly.Her dress reminded me that there was sun outside, a beautiful March day."Only the trades that hunger drives you to, you never drop," Rosetta said."I'd like to have to earn my living knitting."Febo said that hunger wasn't enough to make you succeed: you had to know your trade the way starving people know hunger, and practice it like gentlemen."Everybody who wants to doesn't die of hunger," Rosetta said, looking at us with those still eyes, "and the gentleman is not always the one with money."Becuccio stood there listening, and the photographer—black bow tie, like Loris—rubbed his hands.I said we must hurry.While they were shooting pictures I took Rosetta upstairs and down and showed her how the shop had turned out.She also liked the curtains and the other materials.We discussed the lighting.I was called to the phone."I'm leaving," Rosetta said."Thanks.""We'll see each other again," I said.In the evening I saw Momina with some other people—new people, possible future clients—and there was talk of an auto trip, of going to the Riviera some Sunday."Let's tell Rosetta, too," Momina said."Of course."Some days later, Mariella and Rosetta drove up to Via Po, and Mariella, blond and fresh, shouted from the driver's seat that I should take a ride with them."I work mornings," I said."Come and visit us," she said."Grandmother wants to get to know you better."I waved to Rosetta and they left.The next day Rosetta appeared at the door, alone."Come in," I said."How are you?"We walked under the porticoes, talking, and stopped to look at the copper engravings and dark leather bindings in Bussola's window."It might almost do for a living room the way it is," I said."Do you like books?" Rosetta said, livening up."Do you read much?""During the war.One didn't know what to do.But now I don't manage at all.I always feel I'm putting my nose into somebody else's business."Rosetta was amused and look hard at me.".It seems indecent.Like opening other people's letters
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