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.""Then why should I be sorry?"She shrugged."We haven't had much time for each other.I wondered if you still cared for me a little.""Of course I care for you." I leaned up on one elbow and touched her face."You're my friend.I've never had a better one."She gave me half a smile."Neither have I."A teasing look came into her eyes.Before she could say something that would push me away, I sat up and embraced her.I kissed her cheek and gently stroked her back, and her body relaxed against me.I held her for a moment longer.Then I let her go."Let's go home," I said.We found our clothing and dressed ourselves.When we started back up the hill to Merin's house, I took Sparrow's hand.I remembered walking up that hill hand in hand with her at the harvest festival, when she had been unhappy because Eramet was with someone else.Now Eramet was gone, and no doubt Sparrow would give a great deal to have that day back again.I took a lesson from it.I resolved to keep my heart open to those I loved, no matter what they did, even if they hurt me.Other couples were straggling home.I was surprised to see Fet and Fodla among them.They too walked hand in hand.Fet was as serene as usual, but Fodla's smiling face glowed with joy and a peacefulness that was quite unlike her.Her restless eyes that seemed always to be darting here and there, trying to take in everything happening around her, now gazed steadily off into the distance.If she saw anything at all, it was something no one else could see.The household gathered in the great hall.No one spoke.The couples who had spent the night together seemed reluctant to separate.I too wanted to keep Sparrow close to me.Cael and Alpin sat side by side.Taia sat shoulder to shoulder with a young girl who had only just arrived in Merin's house.Then I wondered where Laris was.Servants brought us steaming bowls of tea and hot barley cakes, along with meat and eggs left over from the day before.I was hungry, and I gave all my attention to my breakfast.By the time I had taken the first edge off my hunger, people were talking and laughing as they did every morning.The benches had begun to fill with warriors.I hadn't seen many of the warriors at the bonfire.Where had they been all night?"Why don't the warriors join in the spring festival?" I asked Sparrow."Some do," she replied."But not many.Where were they?""I imagine the elders had their own work to do.As for the rest, why not ask your warrior?"For some reason I was reluctant to do that.I wasn't sure I wanted her asking me where I had been or what I'd been doing."Is there some reason not to?" Sparrow asked.I shrugged."It's no business of mine what she did, just as it's no business of hers what I did.""I see." Sparrow looked at me out of the corner of her eye.She started to say something else, then changed her mind."Last year," I said, "did you and Eramet -- ""Yes."Suddenly I felt awkward.I opened my mouth, to tell her I was sorry for intruding on a private grief, but she spoke first."That's why I'm glad you were with me last night," she said."I don't think I could have borne it, to spend the night alone."I reached for her hand under the table and squeezed it."Of course, there are a few other reasons too," she said, and winked at me.The rest of the day was uneventful.Since most of the young people had been awake almost all night, no one felt up to doing much, and for us it was still a holiday.Sparrow and I spent the day together.In the morning we found a sunny place outdoors to sit.In the afternoon we napped in the cool shade by the river.We talked a bit about nothing important.Most of the time we simply shared a comfortable silence.More than once I found myself watching for my warrior.Many of the warriors were outdoors enjoying the day.I didn't see her among them.Neither had I seen her in the great hall at breakfast time nor at the midday meal.I asked a few of the apprentices.None of them had seen her either.I tried not to feel uneasy.In spite of the fact that she had made some friends in Merin's house, I knew she wouldn't be among the groups of warriors I'd seen in the great hall entertaining themselves by drinking too much ale and boasting to one another of their victories.More likely she had found one or two who preferred to spend a quiet day, or perhaps she had kept to herself.At last the day was over.As the sun was setting, we made our way home.We had our supper in the great hall.Maara never came downstairs.Sparrow saw me looking for her."Why are you so worried about her?" she asked me."Can't she look after herself for a day or two?""Of course she can," I said."I'm not worried."But my words convinced neither Sparrow nor myself.Sparrow sighed."Why don't you take her some supper? Maybe she feels left out of things.She's still a stranger here, after all."Sparrow had said aloud what I'd been thinking.As much as I wanted to protest that Maara was no longer a stranger in Merin's house, I wondered how much she understood of what was happening around her.I regretted that I hadn't thought to talk to her about it.After supper I took some food upstairs.Maara wasn't in her room.I sat down on her bed to wait for her.As I watched the twilight fade, I grew more and more uneasy.I tried to tell myself that I was being foolish, that I should go on to bed and that in the morning I would find her there, safe and sound.When it was quite dark outside and I could no longer believe that she would be home that night, my uneasiness turned to dread.I went out to the bower and found Sparrow sleeping there.I almost lay down beside her.I wanted the comfort of her arms around me, but I knew I wouldn't sleep, so I turned away and walked down the hill.I sat for a while by the river.The night before, people had been everywhere out on the hillside.This night no one but me kept vigil.I felt more peaceful out under the stars.A little of the enchantment of the night before lingered in the air around me.The loneliness that had hurt me so much that springtime was gone.Before last night, I had felt abandoned by love.Now love surrounded me.Then I thought of Maara.For the first time it occurred to me to wonder if she had been lonely too.On my way back up the hill I stopped by the oak grove.I had no gift to bring, not even a scrap of cloth to tie around a branch, but the Mother would surely know what was in my heart.I sat down in the darkness under the trees.Here and there a moonbeam reached down through the branches and cast a lacy pattern on the ground
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