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.I don't remember the ride home, if we talked or not.I remember that Nicky escorted me up to my room with a chivalry and gallantry that made me smile, and he gave me another sweet kiss, his tongue barely brushing mine, then retreating for a chaste peck on the lips."Thanks Nicky,” I said softly."It was a lovely evening.”"Any time, pretty lady." He smiled back.I held up a hand to touch his face, and leaned forward to rub his cheek with my own."Until next month, Nicky.”I turned away then, so I wouldn't have to see the unspeakable sadness cross his pretty face with its pert little nose and little boy's freckles.Soundlessly I slid into my bedroom and tiptoed past Bracken, sprawled fully clothed and on his back, on our bed.He did say he'd wait up, I thought with a weary, tiny smile.Carefully I hung my shawl in the closet, then, not so carefully, I stripped down, wadding up my other clothes into a little sticky ball and shoved it in the hamper, wishing I had scissors so I could shred them into tatters.Then I went into the bathroom and left the light off, avoided looking at myself in the mirror, turned the water on so hot I could hardly stand it, and stepped under the spray.BRACKENGhosts in the GardenShe'd been in the bathroom for more than an hour.There were several hot water heaters in Green's hill, but I'm pretty sure none of them would keep warm for that long.I'd woken up when she'd been wadding her clothes into the hamper, and thought that after a quick shower she'd climb into bed with me, but the water had kept running, there in the darkened bathroom, and I knew that something was wrong.Finally, I stood up and undressed and went into the newly redecorated bathroom.She was crouched in the shower, her back to the spray, shivering, rubbing a bath sponge over her back and bottom.She must have been doing that for most of the hour, because her back was raw and red, and in another scrub or two I wouldn't be able to touch her because her blood would push through the tiny abrasions of her skin at my call.The noise I made in my chest was raw with animal aching, and I opened the shower door hard enough to crack the glass, and turned the tap off so violently that the handle twisted off in my hand.She didn't protest at all as I scooped her into my arms dripping wet and wrapped her in a towel.All she did was shiver, and turn her head into my chest without meeting my eyes.I held her on my lap and dried her hair, then took her into the bedroom and slid one of my plain white T-shirts over her head.She had a drawer full of nightgowns that Green and I had both bought her, but the only thing she seemed to want to wear in our beds were our T-shirts."I'll kill him,” I said softly, when she was spooned against me under the quilt."It's nothing he did," she replied weakly.Her first words since I found her in the shower.The darkness closed over us then, but I knew she was awake.There was the subtle scent of mustard flowers in the air, so Green was talking to her.Thank the Goddess—if anyone could help her, Green could.And then, as if to make me a total liar and fool, Green's voice echoed in my head.She won't let me comfort her, his voice was aggrieved.Well fuck.I said back intelligently.If she won't talk to you, we're screwed.According to Nicky, of all things that was not a problem.She said it was nothing he did.Even in my mind my expression twisted.Of course she was scrubbing her back raw.I need to be there.He said, and I ached for him.We all hated to be gone from Green's hill, and Green was the rule rather than the exception.What have you found out? \ asked.The sylph’s think it smells like death, it turned five of them into piles of dust, and the entire community lived in fear.Nobody saw its face.Nobody knows its name.Nobody has a fucking clue.Well, if you’re looking for good news on the information front… and I proceeded to brief him on Cory's little run in with the toxic were-creature.Eventful night.Green murmured thoughtfully, and then I could hear the humor seep back into his voice.And she still managed to take care of Nicky—a bit frightening, our little Goddess, isn't she?I looked down at her still form, almost positive she was simply lying, still and spiritless, and not sleeping at all.Yes.I agreed simply, and even that little bit of humor left Green's presence in my mind.I think, he said after some deliberation, that you need to pretend to sleep.My mind turned into a giant question mark.She needs to talk to someone, and if it's not you and it's not me, that leaves one person…and you don't admit he exists, and she won't go talk to him if she has to explain herself.Erplglack…I truly had no answer to that.Green was right.Green was right, but I still wasn't going to admit…it didn't matter.He was right.She needed to go to the garden and I needed to swallow my pride and let her go.Good night.Brother.Green murmured, and then the scent of mustard flowers was gone.I tightened my hold on Cory's midriff for a second, that clenching motion we all make before our body relaxes for the night, and then allowed my breathing to soften, to grow shallow, and my hand to grow limp and heavy on her hip.I worked so hard at pretending to sleep, that by the time she finally slid out of bed, I was truly asleep.I dreamt of Adrian.I am four years old, and Adrian is swinging me up over his head in the silvered darkness of the garden.I am taller than human children, but even though this maneuver is awkward, I scream for it over and over again.Adrian is a vampire, and his muscles never tire, and he never complains.He simply laughs, flashing fang, and swings me higher and higher, until I finally fly up towards the tops of the trees, and Adrian levitates up to catch me.We come down in a controlled drop, and I am shrieking with excitement.'Again! Adrian again!”But Adrian is catching looks from my mother who is fuckering around with the other pixies and nymphs, visiting, gossiping, watching the children play in the mild gardens in the spring dark.He runs a hand through his virgin lambs-wool hair and shrugs."No, mate—your mum'll skin me alive, and even vampires have their limits.“I sigh.Any other sidhe, and Mom wouldn't care—but a red-cap…well, there was a reason most red-caps are shaped like a pile of rocks.Adrian tousled my hair, and gave my mom a questioning look.She sighed, and I could hear her voice drift across the garden."Go ahead, Adrian—if anyone is sure not to drop him, it'll be you
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